Should I Worry?
A new roof with a new leak and a fresh new perspective.
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Rather listen than read? Here you go:
A few months ago, Vince and I replaced the roof on our new home. So you can imagine our dismay when water began dripping along the inside wall.
First it was only in one spot, then another. Soon we had buckets and vases and bowls accenting the perimeter of our living room.
Luckily, that very day, a Saturday, our friends arrived for the weekend, one of whom is a professional builder.
He assessed the situation, chatted with Vince, and then sat calmly in front of our fireplace, sipping his coffee.
I looked at him, waiting, my eyebrows knit together.
“Should we worry?” I asked.
“Yes. Definitely.” he said, looking directly at me.
And then breaking into a grin, “That will help a lot!”
It turns out the roof is fine. Particularly cold snowy Vermont winters have quirks that we, being new here, did not understand. That ignorance has been indelibly rectified.
Of course the roof is not the point of the story.
The point of the story is the “emotional extra” we often give to situations that are just…situationing.
Maybe the roof was fine. Maybe it wasn’t. But the professional opinion was that there was nothing to do until we called the roofers on Monday.
Looking back, I can see my question was born of helplessness.
Having no knowledge or control in this situation, there was only one thing I could do: worry.
While I lack the expertise to climb up on my roof to fix a leak, I do have decades of experience devising worst case scenarios, formulating backup plans, and perseverating about issues that are out of my hands.
Worry alleviates helplessness because at least I’d be doing something.
Doing something, even if that something is worrying, is way more responsible than relaxing and enjoying my weekend, right?
Luckily, my friend’s brilliant and succinct comment—“That will help a lot!”— popped the balloon of that illusion.
We had a wonderful weekend together, accompanied by the gentle sound of drip drip drip.
Without the mind’s stories, those drips were nothing more than nature, naturing, inside rather than out.
I recorded an exploration to accompany this post for times when things happen that are out of your control and there seems to be nothing to do but worry.